My awakening to channeling
At the beginning of 2015, my life began to slide downhill at a rate of knots. Not only did the person I thought would ‘be with me forever’ end our relationship, abruptly and rather brutally, my health was deteriorating, I didn’t have a real ‘home’ anywhere, friends were disappearing, I lost all my ‘stuff’ including many precious astrology and healing books, clothes, much of my financial wealth, and I felt deeply alone and very desperate.
How many of us have felt this way at some time in our lives? To a greater or lesser degree, I would hazard to guess every one of us.
Feeling utterly alone, I called the Samaritans with thoughts of suicide. These compassionate souls listened while I sobbed, said soothing words and allowed me to completely exhaust all the painful emotions from my being. They were a real lifeline.
I truly didn’t know where to turn. I had always looked outside of myself for help: to lovers, teachers, family members, friends, colleagues, doctors, counsellors, spiritual leaders, inspiring public figures, and although from time to time their advice or opinions were useful, I still felt empty inside.
Did I really belong on this planet earth?
Why didn’t I feel at home here?
What did it take?
During most of this time, I continued to do my work, to publish my astrology videos and to keep going. I didn’t want to let my viewers down, so I soldiered on despite the pain. I’d learned, through a rigorous training as a professional classical musician that you practice for 6-8 hours a day and you play at that concert no matter how you are feeling. Once, I performed in a competition doubled up with the most severe tummy pains and even got to the next round, despite being admitted the next morning into the hospital with an acute appendicitis.
I know what it means to continue to show the world one face and to weep on the inside.
What to do?
I kept asking God for help, praying, looking for signs and signals along the way.
Out of the blue, I recalled hearing about someone who channelled information. I stumbled upon Summer Bacon who channels Dr. Peebles and I booked a consultation, only to be told that it would be FOUR months before I could receive it. I begged for an earlier appointment, but it wasn’t to be. When that consultation finally came, I was truly ready, surrendered to whatever I needed to hear.
The words were like the most glorious banquet you could ever imagine. He described my childhood, the behaviour patterns, the beliefs, and I felt seen and acknowledged.
It was just an aside at the end of the session when I asked whether it might be a good idea to try out learning how to channel, and Dr. Peebles said why not?
So I scheduled an appointment with Summer and in that very FIRST session, when she asked me to visualise and to call upon the spirit of Light, Love, Inspiration and Truth, that I felt myself open up in a new way. She told me to practice my trance every day at the same time of day, and we weren’t due to speak for about another 6 weeks.
On the following morning, having no expectations whatsoever, I sat down and invited Spirit to be with me and I surrendered beyond the confines of the earth, body and mind, and just allowed anything to happen.
To my utter astonishment, right at very the beginning, I could feel spirit taking over my breath, my mouth began to shake, I could feel something happening to my vocal chords, and I could feel words beginning to form. There was stuttering, and words were difficult to get out, but what I could hear was something like, wwwwwwe, we, we, are, are, the the, P p p p p Pleaidians………time and time again. We, we, we, llllll love yyyou, Barbara, vveryy, mmuchhhh….
They sang to me, they stroked my head, my body, and I felt soothed and loved in a way I had never ever felt before. It was as though another intelligence had entered my being and I was in touch with a completely different energy force.
It took several days of great discomfort, with teeth chattering, a very sore throat and jaw, and great faith to continue to allow this energy to pervade my being. It felt wonderful and at the same time a little scary as it wasn’t like anything I had ever experienced before. At no time did it feel unsafe or unwelcome. The energy was always loving.
Then the energy of joy and laughter would come in. I couldn’t stop laughing, I couldn’t stop cackling and just jumping for joy.
My body, which had been racked with pain, started to come alive, quite uncomfortably at first. I could feel tugs on my spine and my neck and before I knew it I was being gently pulled onto the floor. Bear in mind, that because of my painful knee, if I ever got onto the floor, there was no way I could get up without help. So this was nerve-racking, but I did it anyway. There, sobbing and stretching, moving and wrenching, I could feel my body beginning to show glimpses of opening up.
I was told time and again I was receiving a whole new body and to trust the process, which I did, 100%.
My feet, which were the subject of much bullying when I was at school, splayed outwards and I always had a sense of being off balance. I knew I had scoliosis and I also had one leg shorter than the other because of a major accident needing several surgeries when I was forty years old.
When I felt the energy encouraging me to get into the Lotus position, I couldn’t believe it! Me, Barbara, the stiffest person in the world, maneouver herself into Lotus? You’ve got to be kidding my mind was saying! But gradually, and I say very gradually, over the weeks and months ahead, I was stretched, pummelled, moved, joyfully and on other days weeping with the pain but continuing anyway, I could finally after about 8 months, get reasonably comfortably in the Lotus position!
I could touch my toes with ease!
I could roll over onto my back and do backwards and forwards somersaults!! All things that were difficult for me even as a child.
I also went through a huge time of emotional catharsis. Having had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), very severely from a very young age, I lived in constant fear and anxiety. All these fears surfaced time and again, and every time they did, I would just lie down, feel them, and ask to be soothed. And My Loves, (as I like to call them), or the Presence would come in, and I allowed that energy to move me, and within a relatively short period of time, the intensity of the pain would pass and I would move into a greater sense of joy and freedom.
Now, just over two years later, with my body still unfolding daily, and doing at least 3 hours of intense bodywork with My Loves, I feel stronger, more flexible and healthier than I have been in my entire life.
Is there still more to go? Yes, of course there is, yet I feel so light, I can give more energy, more love, more compassion and I finally, for the first time, feel utterly comfortable in my own skin. My readings have improved beyond measure and I am happier than ever before.
My great desire to please everyone has greatly diminished. I am more aware of it now and can correct it before it takes hold of all my relationships and I become inauthentic.
So much has changed, it’s hard to name everything, (although I am keeping a journal and am in the process of writing a book about it), but here are a few significant examples:
I am now ambidextrous, having been right-handed all my life, spirit encouraged me to use my left hand, and now I can do most things just as well with my left side as with my right. I feel completely rewired.
I sleep on the floor on a very thin piece of latex about 2 inches thick. I no longer use a pillow and for the most part I sleep on my tummy.
The scoliosis which plagued me for a lifetime is gone.
The OCD is greatly diminished.
I think for myself, and I speak my truth, and I do what I feel is right for me, and in that I am now an authentic human being.
The painting emerged. I never knew I could paint, and spirit encouraged me to paint, and now it is blossoming and people are even buying the paintings!
The music has returned only in a new and deeper way. I am putting my heart and soul into it and finding new sounds and new music.
My career has changed and I am including so much more in the astrology than ever before.
I wake up with a joie de vivre I have never experienced. Instead of wanting to stay in bed another few minutes, I jump up, often around 4 or 5am (and I have had a lifetime of NEVER getting up before 8am), and I can’t wait to move my body, to thank Spirit I am alive another day and I feel fantastic!
Yes, of course there is still more to go with my physical unfolding, and I am trusting and seeing that everything is gradually improving.
I have started to channel professionally both for individuals and for groups. The feedback has been very positive and this is growing as people are sharing their experiences.
None of this was intended, I didn’t set out trying to make a new career, trying to become a trance channel, trying to become an artist, it all just happened. It fell into place.
That’s how my life is now.
Instead of all the difficulties and struggles I used to have, I now find joy and gratitude in the tiniest of things.
Having had great financial wealth and also very little money, I realise that it is not the stuff that makes me happy, but something much deeper than all of that.
Knowing and feeling that I am not alone gives me courage to step out, to reach out, to love and to trust, to see the oneness and the connectedness that runs through each and every one of us. This has enriched my relationships and has made my work deeper and more meaningful.
I had my hair cut really short – I stopped colouring it, and I allowed the grey just to be, and I love it.
My feet are straight!
I wear what I love, I say what I feel and I no longer care whether people like it or not.
In this process I have been stepping out more and more, risking sharing the channeling with more people and also on YouTube. It’s quite a journey and it’s still unfolding, and every day I go beyond that point of comfort into the excitement of the new and the unknown.
I love life, I love people, I love children, animals, trees, plants, EVERYTHING in a way I never knew possible. My heart feels everything – so when a client tells me she lost her child, I weep with her sorrow……feeling everything is so important and the key to being truly alive.
Now, I feel I am on the cusp of taking this onto the wider stage, of risking all, and sharing that everyone can do this, you too can experience this level of joy, abundance, love and connection. If I can do it, a regular person with no exceptional characteristics, then anyone can.
I have no idea how it is going to pan out, nor do I wish to control it in any way. I ask Spirit to guide me for my highest good and for that of the highest for everyone and everything.
Every day is an adventure, nothing is routine, and I feel awake, conscious and ready to give and share with the world the blessings I have so abundantly received.
Our world is in a period of great transformation. Many are experiencing great pain, turmoil, intensity, loneliness, and feeling that there must be more to life than having a job, earning money, having a family, growing old and dying. There has to be more than this.
And there is.
We are on this journey together, and I am looking forward to working and playing with many of you, and finding ways in which we can have our heart’s desire which ultimately is about creating a loving, peaceful, kind and compassionate world – both personally and collectively.
I hope that many of you will join me on this new path for humanity to truly find its purpose of loving ourselves, of creating a joyful world, for one another and our Earth.